The answers to those two questions are very different but since you’ve picked up this book and you intend to get to know me a little, I guess I have to tell you some of the things on my list. This simply creates a backdrop to help you understand how I arrived at the very positive conclusions I’m about to teach you. And yes the subject area is leadership in spiritual things, particularly church leadership.
Derivation
The first thing that bugs me that comes to my mind is that much of what I read from Christian authors is so derivative in nature. What I mean by that is that so much of what you read is a rehash of what somebody else has written before. Often the title or blurb on the back of the book is written to engage your curiosity while promising you some new insights. Sadly, as often as not, the literature you read fails to deliver. In fact, most people never get past the first chapter, perhaps because they realize they have been hoodwinked again.
What I’m about to teach you is not derivative in nature. I don’t mean to suggest that others haven’t covered some of these ideas in their own words before. I do mean to say that I don’t have anyone else’s work open before me as I write.
Actually, that’s not entirely true. I do have my Bible open. I want everything that I say - yes every sentence - to be consistent with what I’ve come to understand about the Bible as the living and breathing Word Of God.
Basics
The second thing that bugs me is that for some crazy reason people aspire to Christian leadership often fail to understand that it is going to be difficult. They jump so quickly to the latest craze. I’m simply sick of flavor of the month sermonizing and programming. We must deal with underlying principles. It’s time to get down to basics and analyze the underpinnings. I’m tired of watching people drill surface wells hoping to find an easy source of pure water. It takes a lot of drilling to get pure water. Did you know that right now they are drilling a 24 foot diameter hole through pure solid rock 800 feet below in New York City. It is a 50 year project to deliver fresh clean water from the Catskill Mountains into the island of Manhattan. That is an illustration of how hard it is to do something essential the availability of which is seen as automatic. I want to help drill through bedrock and create a wellspring of life and health in the church.
Ineffectiveness
My list of things that bug me is very long. But here’s one final biggie for now. Apparently there are over six billion people on this planet. I really don’t know how they calculate that number but it sounds good to me. Also apparently there are two billion people on the planet who in some way name the name of Christ as their leader. This subset of those who like myself would identify with evangelical Christianity is much smaller. However, taking the bigger number, the thing that really bugs me is this, there are only two unbelievers for every believer. We ought to be able to get the job done better. From my perspective, we are simply not making enough progress in taking the gospel to all creation. Jesus promised power with the great commission. And He, nor I have any interest in what some men count as power. I never want to manipulate or dominate to get my own way. Religion has trafficed in those devices and created a really bad name for itself. Christian faith is an inside job where people’s hearts are renewed because of full truth, not some cheap packaged set of religious norms designed to build a system and fulfill any leader’s selfish aspirations. We ought to be finding and winning more people so that we change the world for the better. The fact that we aren’t really bugs me.
So I have been forced to ask myself the question, “Why?”
To focus the answer in one simple category I have drawn the conclusion that the problem is the nature of the church of Jesus promised to build, blasting through the gates of hell.
My prime area of knowledge and expertise is in the church of North America. In broad strokes, there are four 00,000 churches and approaching four 00,000,000 people. About half the people who identify with any church at all make that identification with the large churches of over 1000 people. But if we grant the scope of influence of 100 churchgoers on average for each church we end up with a 10 to 1 ratio. OK, I’m not trying to be a statistician or a demographer here so just chill. I don’t know whether three to 1 or 10 two 1 is closer to the truth. I just know that Jesus told a bunch of us who claim were following Him to make disciples of the bigger bunch of people who don’t get it yet. I’m out to change that. Are you?
I am well aware of the fact that any fool can tell you what’s wrong but only a few people are committed to changing what is wrong and making it better. I know that you and I are on the same page here. We are both sufficiently talented fools to figure out some of the things that are wrong. And we both hope that we are sufficiently dedicated fools committed to making things better.
I have much more to say than I can get said in this book. But if you’re looking for some clues about how to create a better church I strongly encourage you to purchase my DVDs “Six Foundations of a Dynamic Church — Without a Marketing Budget” and “Sixteen Characteristics of a Dynamic Church — Without a Marketing Budget”. These DVDs will give you a great list of characteristics to work on in your church. But you can’t work on them all at once. And in fact, without the rest of this book I’m not even sure that you can make a solid start.
Framework
I want to teach you a mental and spiritual framework. This framework is strikingly uncommon in church leaders. Church leaders conceive of themselves as agents of change. The problem is that few perceive enough change happening. Leaders are frustrated. They see the problems within those who are supposed to be following. I expect you are that way. You may well see yourself asking the same questions over and over about how to get different results.
Specifically, as a church leader, you are looking to create a healthier church. I am thrilled with that! I am not sure what your definition of a healthier church is. I have some insight I would love to share on defining the concept of church health. I believe that what I can teach you on church health will resonate with your spirit and cause you to exclaim a resounding, “Yes!” The bad news is that’s not the scope of this particular publication. The good news is you can read a lot about it in the church health report, of which I would be happy to send you a free sample.
Drilling Speed
Today, we’re going to start on a journey together. You are not going to read anything else that focuses on whining and complaining about what’s wrong with the other guy. I’m putting this short book together for me as much as for you. I too, am not squeezing all the productivity of my hours that I wish I could squeeze. And so, I had to get down to drill through some bedrock.
Today is Monday. By Friday, my objective is to have this book completely written. I’m sitting far away from home in Williamsburg, Virginia. In many ways America started here. Well actually at about the same time my homeland of Canada started at about the same time in the early 1600s. It took us about 100 years longer to arrive at nationhood. But we both got there. The important thing for both you and me is to figure out where “there” is for us personally. Neither of us has 100 years to go on that. So we’d both better get busy because once we have a clear picture of our destination we have a long way to go.
In Ephesians chapter three the Apostle Paul has a wonderful prayer in which he uses the word “power” three times. He never defines the term in the prayer. But he says the real power is way more powerful than anything we currently understand. He further states that power has to operate on the inside of our lives. There inevitably will be real world changes on the outside when we get the power. Sometimes those changes will be publicly notable and even reportable in the media or books. But I believe that much more often by the mysterious power of the Holy Spirit using the still small voice of God the results will be much bigger than could be contained by the public media. But people won’t necessarily notice the power source.
The kingdom of God has always been in mustard seed starts. Let’s just get those starts happening. Someone else can figure out whether or not the results are big enough for the birds of the air to make their nests in the trees we grow.
There Is Power
There is power at many levels in human experience. There are contrasting dimensions of power from the Christian perspective. It is extremely relevant that we dissect the concept so that we never confuse that which is purely human with that which is divine. Further, it is critical that we distinguish elements of power that spring from the sin nature from those which in and of themselves are amoral.
Any characteristic of life that has its seedbed in the falleness of humanity must be expunged. God never brings spiritual ends out of sinful beginnings. He does overrule sinful beginnings and supplant them with higher, nobler ends in spite of the human instruments. But it is His will to bring His kingdom to this earth with the cooperation of Christian leadership — not in spite of it.
What I am calling “The Nine Secret Power Essentials They Didn’t Teach You In Seminary” is admittedly a strongly worded concept. So let me back off a little. Maybe some people learned this stuff in seminary. It is just that I haven’t met many of them yet. It could be that the professors attempted to teach these things but the students didn’t have ears to hear. Why did I pick nine concepts? Um… I didn’t want to give away the whole store? I didn’t have time to pick 21? I am not completely sure but I figured that 9 was enough for this week. And besides, as you’ll see later, there’s a reason for three groups of three . Frankly, I can’t back up all of these ideas with Scripture. But as you’ll soon see I truly believe everything I’m about to say is consistent with Scripture and much of it is supported directly from the pages of the Bible.
Me Too
This is a hard hitting document. Did you notice that I said earlier I am writing it for me? I think I need to be hit hard. So if you find yourself squirming as you read just remember I squirmed a lot more as I wrote! Amongst many of my diverse roles I am a pastor of a newer and smaller church that isn’t powerful enough. So I know I have to give attention to achieving more as a leader in that context. These things I am about to articulate totally apply to my context. I can do better with most of them. If you are starting a church you will need to know this. If you are a leader paid or unpaid in any size church I believe you need to know these principles and act them out. Your church can’t grow healthier without the right kind of leadership. Since you are a leader let’s make sure you have the right characteristics and understand the nature of leading others to change. I believe I have included some essentials in this book.
You and I can get to know each other pretty well based on your choice to do so. But because a laborer is worthy of his hire, and I do make my living at this, it’s going to cost you. I always make every effort to under promise and overproduce. If I don’t do that, you are welcome to ask for your money back at any time and you will get it with no quibbling.
This is the way it’s going to work. You purchased this document. If you don’t think it was worth the money just say so and I will give you a full refund. I’m going to attempt to induce you to purchase more and even higher value resources from me. If you purchase any of those resources and you don’t find them to be of great value, you can ask for your money back and I will give you a full refund minus my cost for processing and shipping. In a few cases, I didn’t create the resource and therefore my guarantee to you is up to the limit of my potential financial benefit. What I mean by that is this. In some cases, I pay 60¢ on the dollar for resources and I can’t get my money back. But I would be happy to return to you my portion of four 0¢ on the dollar if you are not happy.
I believe with all my heart that I can turn you toward a more productive direction. I am not in this to make money but if I don’t make money I won’t be able to stay in this. If you can see that what I offer is helpful I have to rely on you to tell others the good news. And while some of these principles may be taught elsewhere, the configuration that I’m offering you is unique.
OK, now that we have those housekeeping ideas out of the way let’s see if we can power up!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Part A: 3 Power Starters
The first three chapters of this book are designed to get you unlocked from the status quo. It is my intention to create disequilibrium. That means that I’m going to ask you to challenge the assumptions you tend to operate by. I’m going to ask you to put your bacon on the fryer and sizzle a little.
Probably the first question you need to ask yourself is, “Is this going to be worth it?” Let me assure you that the last thing in the world that I want to do is to make you feel rotten without giving you direction and hope. I want to make you mad, sad and glad. In that order. If things go extremely well we might even miss the first two! Definitely this is going to be worth it.
The next question that probably comes to your mind is, “Will I be able to handle this and actually implement it?” My answer to that is that these first three power starters are so dead simple that anyone has the capacity to put them into practice.
Quick Fix?
If you were hoping to find a quick fix then you may as well ask for your money back right now. But I am sure you know there is no magic pill. If you continue to do the same things that you have always done it is highly likely that you will get the same results you have had so far. At least in the near future. Sometimes you have to stay at the same things because they are the right things. And sometimes the right things simply won’t get you the results you hope for. The life of the old testament prophets gives us a template. Isaiah six tells us of the call of the young man. He was given as magnificent vision of the glory and holiness of God as any human ever experienced. And then the follow-up was that while he was to tell everybody they simply weren’t going to get it. Ezekiel was told that his congregation would be hardhearted but that, “Whether they listened or failed to listen they would know that a prophet had been among them.”
The three power starters I’m going to ask you to implement in your life will involve change. Isaiah and Ezekiel changed even if the people around them didn’t. I am going to be so bold as to say that if you don’t implement these three power starters you are not likely to experience much power in your own life. These are not the only power starters. There are several others. Prayer in particular comes to mind. However, I promised you non derivative material and there are lots of books on prayer. These are the power starters that I see missing in many who wish to lead. It isn’t about the size of what you lead it is about the size of the leadership basics within you personally.
The context of this book is growing a healthy church. There are several assumptions in this concept. First of all there is the assumption that there is such a thing as a healthy church. And in the purest sense of the word actually there isn’t. No church is truly healthy because the participants have less than perfect spiritual health. But there definitely is the possibility of a healthier church. And the healthier church will only be healthy if it is led by healthier leaders.
It is impossible to control what any other human being will choose in their heart. Therefore, it is impossible to create change in people from the outside. We can manipulate them into a certain set of behaviors but as soon as we take the heat off those behaviors will disappear. However there’s another assumption in the phrase, “growing a healthy church.” And that is that somehow there are influences that can be brought to bear to make the church different. These characteristics of influence must start from the top. Power always starts from the top. The third assumption I want you to notice in the phrase, “growing a healthy church” is that there is the expectation of progress from smaller to bigger. But the smallness must be understood as smallness of personhood not as smallness in the number of persons. You have to be bigger as an individual. The others will have the opportunity to follow your lead. Or not. That will be entirely up to them. You can have the power whether or not people en masse notice. If they do notice so much the better.
And so I’m going to recommend three power starters for you to work on. If you already have these down cold then just keep reading the next three chapters. But if you don’t, set the rest of the book aside for a few weeks and start developing these dimensions of power. Before you move on to the second section, stay at the first three changes until you have a reasonable degree of success at establishing this level of power.
Probably the first question you need to ask yourself is, “Is this going to be worth it?” Let me assure you that the last thing in the world that I want to do is to make you feel rotten without giving you direction and hope. I want to make you mad, sad and glad. In that order. If things go extremely well we might even miss the first two! Definitely this is going to be worth it.
The next question that probably comes to your mind is, “Will I be able to handle this and actually implement it?” My answer to that is that these first three power starters are so dead simple that anyone has the capacity to put them into practice.
Quick Fix?
If you were hoping to find a quick fix then you may as well ask for your money back right now. But I am sure you know there is no magic pill. If you continue to do the same things that you have always done it is highly likely that you will get the same results you have had so far. At least in the near future. Sometimes you have to stay at the same things because they are the right things. And sometimes the right things simply won’t get you the results you hope for. The life of the old testament prophets gives us a template. Isaiah six tells us of the call of the young man. He was given as magnificent vision of the glory and holiness of God as any human ever experienced. And then the follow-up was that while he was to tell everybody they simply weren’t going to get it. Ezekiel was told that his congregation would be hardhearted but that, “Whether they listened or failed to listen they would know that a prophet had been among them.”
The three power starters I’m going to ask you to implement in your life will involve change. Isaiah and Ezekiel changed even if the people around them didn’t. I am going to be so bold as to say that if you don’t implement these three power starters you are not likely to experience much power in your own life. These are not the only power starters. There are several others. Prayer in particular comes to mind. However, I promised you non derivative material and there are lots of books on prayer. These are the power starters that I see missing in many who wish to lead. It isn’t about the size of what you lead it is about the size of the leadership basics within you personally.
The context of this book is growing a healthy church. There are several assumptions in this concept. First of all there is the assumption that there is such a thing as a healthy church. And in the purest sense of the word actually there isn’t. No church is truly healthy because the participants have less than perfect spiritual health. But there definitely is the possibility of a healthier church. And the healthier church will only be healthy if it is led by healthier leaders.
It is impossible to control what any other human being will choose in their heart. Therefore, it is impossible to create change in people from the outside. We can manipulate them into a certain set of behaviors but as soon as we take the heat off those behaviors will disappear. However there’s another assumption in the phrase, “growing a healthy church.” And that is that somehow there are influences that can be brought to bear to make the church different. These characteristics of influence must start from the top. Power always starts from the top. The third assumption I want you to notice in the phrase, “growing a healthy church” is that there is the expectation of progress from smaller to bigger. But the smallness must be understood as smallness of personhood not as smallness in the number of persons. You have to be bigger as an individual. The others will have the opportunity to follow your lead. Or not. That will be entirely up to them. You can have the power whether or not people en masse notice. If they do notice so much the better.
And so I’m going to recommend three power starters for you to work on. If you already have these down cold then just keep reading the next three chapters. But if you don’t, set the rest of the book aside for a few weeks and start developing these dimensions of power. Before you move on to the second section, stay at the first three changes until you have a reasonable degree of success at establishing this level of power.
1 Move Toward ... The Power Of Change
Have you noticed how much everyone likes to complain? Why, I even started this book in complaining mode. The first thing I must implement if I am ever going to experience all the power that God intended for me is that I must diminish my chirp list and enhance may change list.
Chirp List
You have one of those don’t you? That is a long list of things that you would like to complain about, so you chirp. Some of the things you can change. Many of the things you can’t. Weather. You can’t change that. But you can move to a different climate. Traffic jams. You can’t change those. But you can drive a different route at a different time. And actually, you might change traffic jams by engineering a change in the way we manage traffic. Designing that change would be one thing. Good luck with that. Getting other people to pay attention to your projected change - now that is quite another thing. Good luck with that too!
Your chirp list has a lot of other little things on it that you could change. Some require little incremental changes. If you don’t like the color of the paint, change it. If you don’t like your weight, lose some. Or in rarer cases gain some. If you don’t sleep very well, fix it. I have a book and a video series on how to do that. I got tired of listening to people excuse all manner of ill behavior under the guise that they had a bad night’s sleep. So, instead of chirping about the fact that others were chirping about lack of sleep, I set out to figure out how to improve it. I learned that few people give attention to the one third of their life they should be asleep. I also learned that it’s entirely possible for you to change your sleep patterns. Buy my video series. And as always, if it doesn’t work you get your money back. Actually, I can even point you in the direction of purchasing a better bed. And yes, if you buy one of the beds I recommend and your sleep is not improved, I will give you my portion of the money back. You can change things. Don’t just let that chirp list grow and become rancid.
You see, I’ve had quite enough of the chirping. When I realized that I was doing as much chirping as the next guy, I took the power in my life to a whole new level. I started to invest much more time in creating change than in chirping.
Everyone has a chirp list. And everyone has a change list. Sadly, some people’s change list is either extremely short, completely metaphorical or even delusionally whimsical. At the same time, their chirp list is very long and they don’t mind explaining the details for you. It is as if by chirping they think they are in some way instituting change or recruiting you to start the team to do so.
Get a bunch of church leaders together and throw a piece of raw meat on the middle of the table and watch them go at it like a bunch of pit bulls. “What should be done about _________?” It doesn’t matter what piece of meat you fill in the blank with. If you have 10 people in the room you can generate at least 10 different opinions with the knowledge of 20 different samples of how other churches have addressed the problem. Usually those are the big churches that have all the answers in the sampler list. Do you see the built in caveat? Big church A did thus-and-such. I lead little church B and so A’s solution won’t apply until we get big like A.
Now I am not really suggesting you do this. But ask each leader in the room. “Is this a problem in your church?” And if the answer is affirmative ask, “What do you intend to do about it?” You will find very quickly that most people in the room don’t actually intend to do anything about it. They are just chirping.
A healthy church is a church in which the leaders are constantly taking specific steps to make changes. They refuse to leave all the issues unattended and over populate a chirp list.
Change List
A change list is a list of items that you are doing something about. I almost said, “intend to do something about.” But no. A change list is a list of the things that you are actually doing something about. It may be that the progress is slow. It may be that you are muddling around with various actions to effect change and nothing seems to be working. It may be that you are still in a research phase trying to figure out the correct action plan. But in order to be on a change list, someone is in charge of actually making a change. That changer would be you.
In the context of your own life you are responsible to move things from the chirp list to the change list. And then actually get busy making changes. I’m sure you get that. At this point we touch upon the theme of the next chapter. In the next chapter we are going to discuss how you can become an example of change.
It is important to distinguish between a personal change list and the collective change list of any group of people. The group of people in focus here is of course the church. That collective change list is very complicated to develop.
Let’s take for example something as universal as a Sunday worship service. Imagine how long the chirp list would be if you documented all of the complaints expressed in the homes of your church people. There, of course, will be common themes. There will probably be a set of chirping items that could be categorized under boredom. Perhaps there will be another collection of chirps about the music. Certainly there will be opinions on how the preaching could be improved. You get the idea.
Now the challenge is to figure out which things are qualified to move from that collective chirp list over to the collective change list. In order to do so the items will have to achieve an affirmative response to the following questions.
1. Is this something that could be changed?
2. Is this something that should be changed?
3. Is this something that should be changed now?
4. Is there someone who will lead this change?
5. Will the people follow this change?
6. Is it possible to figure out the set of action steps to institute this change?
7. Is there a possibility we could lock this change in and make it permanent?
Now don’t wilt under the pressure here. If you are a church leader it is quite clear that you can’t make all the differences. But you will have a far healthier church if you can get people to stop chirping and start participating in change.
If someone comes to you as a church leader suggesting that there ought to be a particular change, one of the first things you need to ask is, “Are you willing to lead this change?” If the answer isn’t a flat out negative it will probably be something like this. “I might be willing to work with some others if someone else would lead it.” Or even more specifically, “I might be willing to work with you if you are willing to lead it.”
The Ministry ToolBox
Just as an aside and a shameless plug, the best change management system for churches in my opinion is a software product called, “The Ministry ToolBox”. As you might imagine I believe this product is so good because I had a major hand in developing it. It is worth every penny you will invest because it can help you manage the productive chain you long for in your church. There are several levels at which you can get started with The Ministry ToolBox. The first level deals with a healthy church. The church health and version of the software is very inexpensive and yet extremely powerful. It is being used with thousands of churches. Get your copy today and get started at productive change. Move church development off of your chirp list and on to your change list today. Isn’t it time you quit chirping about your church and started to invest more in changing it? If the church won’t cough up the money for the software, then you do it personally and use it behind the scenes. It will change your ministry. Once again, let me restate my guarantee. If this doesn’t work for you ask me for your money back and I will give you my percentage back. This is unheard of in the software industry. Almost nobody gives a money back guarantee on software. But I do on the part I can control. If you take charge of this component of change even if you’re existing context isn’t responsive, chances are really good that some other more proactive church or ministry will see your leadership example and pursue you to help them institute change. This is a much less expensive investment in self development than any seminary course you can purchase.
OK, I said it. Now let’s go back to the previous illustration.
You will recall that hypothetically I have placed someone in front of you who wants a particular change and wants you to take part in helping create that change. The first observation I would like to make here is this. Our society has become highly focused on encouraging people to create opinions about the changes needed. Talk radio. Political pundits. Commentators. Bloggers. Reader comments on blogs. There are no end of opinions and now, high tech means of you expressing your own opinions. Opinions don’t change things, actions do. However, church people tend to be naively self centered, believing that they have almost infinite wisdom that needs to be shared so that someone else can do something about it. Perhaps this hypothetical person I have placed in front of you has such an expanded ego. If that is the case there are several things to avoid and actions to pursue to create change.
Here is where we get into the heart of the matter in the power starter dimension of moving from chirp to change.
It won’t be useful for you to explain to this hypothetical person in front of you that you are far too busy to get involved in the change that they are asking of you. In fact it is highly likely that they have already prefaced one of their ideas with, “I know you are very busy but…” This person firmly believes that you are busy with inferior things and that they have the superior suggestion for you. In fact, if you enter into some level of debate with them about your priority list, you won’t win. You will look very weak to them. You will sound defensive. You will sound like you are whining. This will diminish your power as a leader in their eyes. After all, in their view, a real leader would immediately grasp the significance of their idea.
In the third chapter, I am going to deal with the power starter that is almost never appreciated and seldom implemented. In a negative way, you are in danger with this person of amplifying their resistance to your leadership by wrongly implementing the principle we will cover there. Place a mental bookmark right here and revisit this hypothetical once we get to chapter three .
Treat the idea with respect. It doesn’t matter if it is the looniest idea you have ever heard. Keep yourself from laughing. This is what you must do. Tell the person that their idea is very interesting. Every idea is interesting. Affirm to them that you appreciate the fact they came to you with the idea and didn’t just chirp about it. This is a very important phase in your teaching. From a positive perspective you are simply telling them that which could be expressed negatively. “Don’t chirp.” You always want to reinforce people who take the initiative to talk to you about what they perceive to be positive change. Over time people will get the message that chirping is not productive.
Action Plan
Ask for an action plan. Now, if you have The Ministry ToolBox and it is in wide use in your church, they will understand exactly what an action plan is. But if you don’t, explain that you will consider the implementation of their change after they take responsibility and come back to you with a specific set of steps of what it would take to get it done. Send them home with a blank action planning sheet. Set up another appointment for them to come back to you with the plan developed as far as they can get it. Don’t simply ask them to come back when they get it done. Make an appointment. This forces them to take responsibility for change which must happen in real time. Promise unlimited telephone and e-mail support as they work on developing the plan.
One of several things can happen as an outcome of this exchange. The first thing that is bound to happen is that their opinion of you as a leader and in particular a delegator will go through the roof. And you may be quite sure this message will get passed forward to others. You will have far fewer people knocking on your door because they want to chirp about something you should change. Those who are unwilling to participate in leading change will simply stay away.
Most of the time the action plan will never get written. The person will go home and fuss about it a little bit and then realize it takes too much work. They might not even make the call back to you to explain they wish to cancel your follow-up appointment. But, of course, you are going to confirm with sufficient lead time that you are still on for that appointment. They must deal with you appropriately. Don’t let them get away with it and just let the issue die. Put it to death officially and give it an appropriate burial.
Some of the time, the action plan will get written but it will be extremely incomplete. In this case, in your appointment you will have something good to say. First of all, you must express how grateful you are that the person is prepared to roll up their sleeves and get started. Immediately you will notice the holes in their action plan. Don’t point out the holes directly. Ask instructive questions? “Help me understand your thinking here. In order for us to get to this point, is there anything else you had in mind we should be doing?” Add the action item in the margin of their plan. Better, give them the pen and ask them to write it in. And then when you notice a huge gap between an action item listed and the next action item, ask something like this, “Before we get to this next action plan is there more information we will have to gather?” Continue line by line until you have a complete action plan.
As a leader, there will be information that you hold about how things work. Rather than just answering questions before they are asked, develop the skill to get the other person to ask the question. For example, rather than saying, “You do realize this will need board approval.” Make every effort to induce them into asking you, “What will it take to free up money for these expenses?”
Once you have an action plan completely developed you will want to go back over each item and estimate how much time the item will take, who should be responsible to complete the item and the target date for that item’s completion. More often than not this person you are working with will see implications they never dreamed were true when they brought the idea up at the outset. For example, I am guessing you won’t have enough of the time to complete the plan they have in mind. But it will certainly be ready for next year.
The Results
This process will achieve several things for you to develop your power as a leader.
1. You will be seen as open minded.
2. You will be seen as having a handle on organizational detail.
3. You will develop positive relationships with people.
4. You will identify future leaders.
5. You will have every opportunity to nudge people in a more positive life direction.
6. You will have declared your intentions and that will motivate you to do what you said you would do.
The most important result of taking this approach is that you will redevelop the culture in your church in a healthy direction. One of the reasons your church is not as healthy as it could be is that it is not as active as it should be. You need to be action oriented as an individual. You need to be an example of proactive change. You need to develop a coterie of people around you who will help you lead in the charge for change. You need to teach people the difference between chirping and changing.
If you are personally stuck and finding it difficult to move forward I highly recommend you get my DVD, “Getting Unstuck — Rediscover Your Purpose & Passion for Life”. It will give you a practical plan to sort things out for yourself.
Imagine the power. Can you see it? Chirpers who wish to remain chirpers will simply stay out of your way. Changers will gravitate toward you. Chirpers who know in their heart of hearts they should become changers will identify with you.
It does all start with you. If your church is not healthy you simply have to stop whining about it and start being the change you want others to become. Everyone will never be on board. If you wait for complete unanimity you will wait a long time. However, as you start to build from the example of your own life and your dealings with people, others will gradually start to join you in this magnificent pursuit of growing a healthier church.
Chirp List
You have one of those don’t you? That is a long list of things that you would like to complain about, so you chirp. Some of the things you can change. Many of the things you can’t. Weather. You can’t change that. But you can move to a different climate. Traffic jams. You can’t change those. But you can drive a different route at a different time. And actually, you might change traffic jams by engineering a change in the way we manage traffic. Designing that change would be one thing. Good luck with that. Getting other people to pay attention to your projected change - now that is quite another thing. Good luck with that too!
Your chirp list has a lot of other little things on it that you could change. Some require little incremental changes. If you don’t like the color of the paint, change it. If you don’t like your weight, lose some. Or in rarer cases gain some. If you don’t sleep very well, fix it. I have a book and a video series on how to do that. I got tired of listening to people excuse all manner of ill behavior under the guise that they had a bad night’s sleep. So, instead of chirping about the fact that others were chirping about lack of sleep, I set out to figure out how to improve it. I learned that few people give attention to the one third of their life they should be asleep. I also learned that it’s entirely possible for you to change your sleep patterns. Buy my video series. And as always, if it doesn’t work you get your money back. Actually, I can even point you in the direction of purchasing a better bed. And yes, if you buy one of the beds I recommend and your sleep is not improved, I will give you my portion of the money back. You can change things. Don’t just let that chirp list grow and become rancid.
You see, I’ve had quite enough of the chirping. When I realized that I was doing as much chirping as the next guy, I took the power in my life to a whole new level. I started to invest much more time in creating change than in chirping.
Everyone has a chirp list. And everyone has a change list. Sadly, some people’s change list is either extremely short, completely metaphorical or even delusionally whimsical. At the same time, their chirp list is very long and they don’t mind explaining the details for you. It is as if by chirping they think they are in some way instituting change or recruiting you to start the team to do so.
Get a bunch of church leaders together and throw a piece of raw meat on the middle of the table and watch them go at it like a bunch of pit bulls. “What should be done about _________?” It doesn’t matter what piece of meat you fill in the blank with. If you have 10 people in the room you can generate at least 10 different opinions with the knowledge of 20 different samples of how other churches have addressed the problem. Usually those are the big churches that have all the answers in the sampler list. Do you see the built in caveat? Big church A did thus-and-such. I lead little church B and so A’s solution won’t apply until we get big like A.
Now I am not really suggesting you do this. But ask each leader in the room. “Is this a problem in your church?” And if the answer is affirmative ask, “What do you intend to do about it?” You will find very quickly that most people in the room don’t actually intend to do anything about it. They are just chirping.
A healthy church is a church in which the leaders are constantly taking specific steps to make changes. They refuse to leave all the issues unattended and over populate a chirp list.
Change List
A change list is a list of items that you are doing something about. I almost said, “intend to do something about.” But no. A change list is a list of the things that you are actually doing something about. It may be that the progress is slow. It may be that you are muddling around with various actions to effect change and nothing seems to be working. It may be that you are still in a research phase trying to figure out the correct action plan. But in order to be on a change list, someone is in charge of actually making a change. That changer would be you.
In the context of your own life you are responsible to move things from the chirp list to the change list. And then actually get busy making changes. I’m sure you get that. At this point we touch upon the theme of the next chapter. In the next chapter we are going to discuss how you can become an example of change.
It is important to distinguish between a personal change list and the collective change list of any group of people. The group of people in focus here is of course the church. That collective change list is very complicated to develop.
Let’s take for example something as universal as a Sunday worship service. Imagine how long the chirp list would be if you documented all of the complaints expressed in the homes of your church people. There, of course, will be common themes. There will probably be a set of chirping items that could be categorized under boredom. Perhaps there will be another collection of chirps about the music. Certainly there will be opinions on how the preaching could be improved. You get the idea.
Now the challenge is to figure out which things are qualified to move from that collective chirp list over to the collective change list. In order to do so the items will have to achieve an affirmative response to the following questions.
1. Is this something that could be changed?
2. Is this something that should be changed?
3. Is this something that should be changed now?
4. Is there someone who will lead this change?
5. Will the people follow this change?
6. Is it possible to figure out the set of action steps to institute this change?
7. Is there a possibility we could lock this change in and make it permanent?
Now don’t wilt under the pressure here. If you are a church leader it is quite clear that you can’t make all the differences. But you will have a far healthier church if you can get people to stop chirping and start participating in change.
If someone comes to you as a church leader suggesting that there ought to be a particular change, one of the first things you need to ask is, “Are you willing to lead this change?” If the answer isn’t a flat out negative it will probably be something like this. “I might be willing to work with some others if someone else would lead it.” Or even more specifically, “I might be willing to work with you if you are willing to lead it.”
The Ministry ToolBox
Just as an aside and a shameless plug, the best change management system for churches in my opinion is a software product called, “The Ministry ToolBox”. As you might imagine I believe this product is so good because I had a major hand in developing it. It is worth every penny you will invest because it can help you manage the productive chain you long for in your church. There are several levels at which you can get started with The Ministry ToolBox. The first level deals with a healthy church. The church health and version of the software is very inexpensive and yet extremely powerful. It is being used with thousands of churches. Get your copy today and get started at productive change. Move church development off of your chirp list and on to your change list today. Isn’t it time you quit chirping about your church and started to invest more in changing it? If the church won’t cough up the money for the software, then you do it personally and use it behind the scenes. It will change your ministry. Once again, let me restate my guarantee. If this doesn’t work for you ask me for your money back and I will give you my percentage back. This is unheard of in the software industry. Almost nobody gives a money back guarantee on software. But I do on the part I can control. If you take charge of this component of change even if you’re existing context isn’t responsive, chances are really good that some other more proactive church or ministry will see your leadership example and pursue you to help them institute change. This is a much less expensive investment in self development than any seminary course you can purchase.
OK, I said it. Now let’s go back to the previous illustration.
You will recall that hypothetically I have placed someone in front of you who wants a particular change and wants you to take part in helping create that change. The first observation I would like to make here is this. Our society has become highly focused on encouraging people to create opinions about the changes needed. Talk radio. Political pundits. Commentators. Bloggers. Reader comments on blogs. There are no end of opinions and now, high tech means of you expressing your own opinions. Opinions don’t change things, actions do. However, church people tend to be naively self centered, believing that they have almost infinite wisdom that needs to be shared so that someone else can do something about it. Perhaps this hypothetical person I have placed in front of you has such an expanded ego. If that is the case there are several things to avoid and actions to pursue to create change.
Here is where we get into the heart of the matter in the power starter dimension of moving from chirp to change.
It won’t be useful for you to explain to this hypothetical person in front of you that you are far too busy to get involved in the change that they are asking of you. In fact it is highly likely that they have already prefaced one of their ideas with, “I know you are very busy but…” This person firmly believes that you are busy with inferior things and that they have the superior suggestion for you. In fact, if you enter into some level of debate with them about your priority list, you won’t win. You will look very weak to them. You will sound defensive. You will sound like you are whining. This will diminish your power as a leader in their eyes. After all, in their view, a real leader would immediately grasp the significance of their idea.
In the third chapter, I am going to deal with the power starter that is almost never appreciated and seldom implemented. In a negative way, you are in danger with this person of amplifying their resistance to your leadership by wrongly implementing the principle we will cover there. Place a mental bookmark right here and revisit this hypothetical once we get to chapter three .
Treat the idea with respect. It doesn’t matter if it is the looniest idea you have ever heard. Keep yourself from laughing. This is what you must do. Tell the person that their idea is very interesting. Every idea is interesting. Affirm to them that you appreciate the fact they came to you with the idea and didn’t just chirp about it. This is a very important phase in your teaching. From a positive perspective you are simply telling them that which could be expressed negatively. “Don’t chirp.” You always want to reinforce people who take the initiative to talk to you about what they perceive to be positive change. Over time people will get the message that chirping is not productive.
Action Plan
Ask for an action plan. Now, if you have The Ministry ToolBox and it is in wide use in your church, they will understand exactly what an action plan is. But if you don’t, explain that you will consider the implementation of their change after they take responsibility and come back to you with a specific set of steps of what it would take to get it done. Send them home with a blank action planning sheet. Set up another appointment for them to come back to you with the plan developed as far as they can get it. Don’t simply ask them to come back when they get it done. Make an appointment. This forces them to take responsibility for change which must happen in real time. Promise unlimited telephone and e-mail support as they work on developing the plan.
One of several things can happen as an outcome of this exchange. The first thing that is bound to happen is that their opinion of you as a leader and in particular a delegator will go through the roof. And you may be quite sure this message will get passed forward to others. You will have far fewer people knocking on your door because they want to chirp about something you should change. Those who are unwilling to participate in leading change will simply stay away.
Most of the time the action plan will never get written. The person will go home and fuss about it a little bit and then realize it takes too much work. They might not even make the call back to you to explain they wish to cancel your follow-up appointment. But, of course, you are going to confirm with sufficient lead time that you are still on for that appointment. They must deal with you appropriately. Don’t let them get away with it and just let the issue die. Put it to death officially and give it an appropriate burial.
Some of the time, the action plan will get written but it will be extremely incomplete. In this case, in your appointment you will have something good to say. First of all, you must express how grateful you are that the person is prepared to roll up their sleeves and get started. Immediately you will notice the holes in their action plan. Don’t point out the holes directly. Ask instructive questions? “Help me understand your thinking here. In order for us to get to this point, is there anything else you had in mind we should be doing?” Add the action item in the margin of their plan. Better, give them the pen and ask them to write it in. And then when you notice a huge gap between an action item listed and the next action item, ask something like this, “Before we get to this next action plan is there more information we will have to gather?” Continue line by line until you have a complete action plan.
As a leader, there will be information that you hold about how things work. Rather than just answering questions before they are asked, develop the skill to get the other person to ask the question. For example, rather than saying, “You do realize this will need board approval.” Make every effort to induce them into asking you, “What will it take to free up money for these expenses?”
Once you have an action plan completely developed you will want to go back over each item and estimate how much time the item will take, who should be responsible to complete the item and the target date for that item’s completion. More often than not this person you are working with will see implications they never dreamed were true when they brought the idea up at the outset. For example, I am guessing you won’t have enough of the time to complete the plan they have in mind. But it will certainly be ready for next year.
The Results
This process will achieve several things for you to develop your power as a leader.
1. You will be seen as open minded.
2. You will be seen as having a handle on organizational detail.
3. You will develop positive relationships with people.
4. You will identify future leaders.
5. You will have every opportunity to nudge people in a more positive life direction.
6. You will have declared your intentions and that will motivate you to do what you said you would do.
The most important result of taking this approach is that you will redevelop the culture in your church in a healthy direction. One of the reasons your church is not as healthy as it could be is that it is not as active as it should be. You need to be action oriented as an individual. You need to be an example of proactive change. You need to develop a coterie of people around you who will help you lead in the charge for change. You need to teach people the difference between chirping and changing.
If you are personally stuck and finding it difficult to move forward I highly recommend you get my DVD, “Getting Unstuck — Rediscover Your Purpose & Passion for Life”. It will give you a practical plan to sort things out for yourself.
Imagine the power. Can you see it? Chirpers who wish to remain chirpers will simply stay out of your way. Changers will gravitate toward you. Chirpers who know in their heart of hearts they should become changers will identify with you.
It does all start with you. If your church is not healthy you simply have to stop whining about it and start being the change you want others to become. Everyone will never be on board. If you wait for complete unanimity you will wait a long time. However, as you start to build from the example of your own life and your dealings with people, others will gradually start to join you in this magnificent pursuit of growing a healthier church.
2 Recognize... The Power Of TQ-PEN
Until now you have likely never heard of the power of TQ-PEN. But before you finish reading this chapter it will be indelibly imprinted in your memory. I will be much happier if you report to me that it not only is imprinted in your memory but it is now a firm part of your value system. I would be ecstatic if the people around you were to report to me that from their perspective you absolutely live by the TQ-PEN promise.
I assert very firmly that the TQ-PEN promise ought to be nonnegotiable for every Christian, let alone every Christian leader. I submit to you that the primary reason for ill health in the life of the church can be traced back to leadership issues.
Christian leaders must lead as Christ indicated they should live. The teachings of Jesus as recorded in scripture are cryptic. They are more like a sermon outline than a sermon. I fear that the meaning of the teachings of Jesus are lost in the pharisaical approach of pretending to seek amplification while all the time actually seeking to reduce the teaching to the absurd. “But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” That is the way Luke explains the follow up of a teacher of the law who wanted to diminish the impact of the simple word of the Lord, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” My amplified version of that self justifying question, “And who is my neighbor?” as I can imagine it coming from a pulpit is as follows. “While Jesus told us we are to love our neighbor as ourself, we must understand that not all neighbors are deserving of the same level of love and therefore we must exercise discernment on how far we go with any one individual. And so, we must carefully think through how much love we extend since our resources are very limited. We might well ask, ‘How do I select from the vast array of people who need help, the ones to whom I should express active love?’” Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. That seems reasonable doesn’t it? Now you stop that. You know what Jesus meant. You know that He knew it is possible to pour love down a black hole. Do it anyway. Why? Because Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Full stop.
The Golden Rule
That is just an illustration of how we attempt to take the batteries out of Jesus’ words. The TQ-PEN promise comes from another set of Jesus’ words. You know it by the name the Golden Rule. Here’s the way I learned it as a child. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Here’s the way Luke records it in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” The impact is exactly the same. But there is no impact at all if you don’t get the primary concept that the rule cannot work if you are expecting others to get it right first. You know how you like to be treated. You hate it when people disrespect you. You despise being ignored. You are quite capable of giving any number of illustrations of how people have mistreated you. In the words of an old Simon and Garfunkel tune, “I get slandered / I get libeled / I hear words I never read in the Bible.” We all do. That is of course the point in creating the rule in the first place. People don’t actually treat you the way you wish they would. This is not an old law based on tit for tat — an eye for an eye — a tooth for a tooth. This is an entirely different way of approaching life. The Golden Rule can only work for you if you work it. And it doesn’t mean you are going to get back what you deliver. It does mean that you must recognize that it is always your turn. You are it. Every time. If others don’t live by the Golden Rule that is not your concern. Yes, you will have to bear the pain associated with that fact, but it is still no reason for you not to do what you are told and live by the Rule.
TQ-PEN promise is based on five practical rollout issues that I am committed to living by. These are five things that I see as direct applications of the Golden Rule.
Truth
The first one is easy to say but when I take it literally and specifically it really challenges me. T = Truth. I will always tell you the truth. When Jimmy Carter became President of the United States, one of the promises he made to the American people was, “I will never lie to you.” That took politics to a much higher level than people expected. It is expected that politicians will tell lies. It is expected that they will promise a chicken in every pot when they know it is impossible to buy the pots let alone the chickens. This is the stuff politicians say. It is expected hyperbole. It is also a lie. Now, let me be quick to add that naiveté in political rhetoric often overstates what might actually be possible despite the best intentions of the politician. I have lots of room for people who in sincerity state intentions and then fail to deliver on those intentions. Well, that is, I have lots of room for them if they will subsequently own up to their failure when challenged.
In many ways church life resembles politics. There are always limited resources to meet the demands of an ever expanding wish list. However, it is never appropriate to promise someone something that is known to be undeliverable. Church leaders must not state that they will look into something if the person will agree first to what is on their agenda. That in itself isn’t so bad. The guild comes if in their heart of hearts they have no intention of looking into the other person’s concern at all. Or at least not with any level of intensity. I refuse to live like that and fail on the first point of the TQ-PEN promise.
But I still wish to ratchet the T part up to an even higher level. It is one thing to tell no lies. That is a good start. I believe that telling the truth involves deliberately avoiding leaving false impressions. If it is plain that the recipient of the communication believes that what you are saying will create better results than what you actually believe, then you are under an obligation to correct their expectations. For example, they might buy into your idea of a grand new church advertising scheme you wish to implement. They might be willing to vote for the expense because they see greater results than are reasonable. However, if you know that their expectations are entirely over rated then you have an obligation to tell them the truth. I do not believe that it is ever possible to build a healthy church based on chicanery. This does create a problem. People are so used to receiving advertising messages that overstate the value of a product that they have an automatic built in mechanism to discount the benefits and results promised. While the ad on TV promises that the particular product will get out all the stains, you just know in your heart of hearts that they have picked the stains the product will remove and have avoided the stains the product cannot touch. However, if you are an advertiser living by the T part of this TQ-PEN promise you would be quick to assert that the product will handle most stains. And you would avoid the overstatement.
You want people to tell you the truth as they know it. Therefore, you should never hide parts of the truth from others that would help them evaluate a particular concept.
I’m not suggesting that you become negatively oriented in your communication and dwell on all of the things that could go wrong. That list is unending. And besides, you wouldn’t want someone to treat you in such a way that they spent all their time telling you what could go wrong. You simply want to know that there are risks in a more general way.
This is proving to be a great burden to me in my ministry. The thing that I love the most is to help people start churches. And when I am realistic in my explanation of what some product or service that I offer can do for the individual who wants to start a church, they often turn away. They simply want more blast for the buck. They are looking for something with more power. Now, I have developed or adapted the most powerful things I know to apply to starting churches. If there is something I know to be more powerful, I will definitely recommend it. When I find more powerful concepts I either adapt the concept, without violating copyrights, or I setup a vending relationship with the owner of the idea. However, over the years I have watched people turn away and try some other idea that promises more success. And I watch people fail every time. In a sense, I could help them by over promising and then after the fact rationalizing the under production down to what I had originally truly expected. I simply refuse to do that because I live by the TQ-PEN promise. I make every effort to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
Questions
The second dimension of the TQ-PEN promise is Q = Questions. I will always supply the best and most complete answers that I can for your questions. I love it when people answer my questions thoughtfully. I expect you do too. When I answer questions completely it consumes a lot of time. And it is seldom to my economic advantage to invest the time. And yet I still am deeply committed to dispensing the time that God has provided, at an equal pace for all of us (but not duration), in such a way that I supply my very best for every person who asks for my time regardless of their position or station in life. If there’s nothing in it for me, I will still give the best answer I can to any question thoughtfully posed.
I can almost feel the squirming and hear the protests. “But what about my responsibility to manage my time?” “Won’t I be wasting time if I invest it in people with less influence?” “How will I maintain my sanity with all the questions coming my way?”
I don’t believe that I must personally craft an answer for every individualized question on every occasion. I further don’t believe that every question demands an immediate answer that could throw things off schedule.
As long as it is acceptable to the person asking the question, it is a great thing to delegate the answer, giving to someone who can supply the answer consistent with the answer I myself would give. That forces me to duplicate myself as best I can in others so that I will have people to turn to to help me respond.
I will often answer a question that is asked with a specific incident in mind by supplying an answer that can be applied on a broader spectrum of incidents. I do this by the use of various media such as blogs and recordings of various kinds. There are many questions I have fielded that are the genesis of this very book.
By answering questions thoughtfully and completely, I think it keeps my feet in touch with the ground.
Overall the TQ-PEN promise is extremely powerful. I believe that these first two components are foundational and essential for anyone who wishes to provide church leadership. I do not believe it is ever an appropriate option to choose to avoid these two principles. Everyone should get the truth. Everyone should get a timely answer. Every time.
The only way a church can become healthier is if the individuals within the church behave healthier. If the leaders in the church are not respecters of persons but treat everyone with equal authenticity, it provides a basis for health and growth.
There is always a layering of the depth of information that needs to be disclosed. Clearly, the answer that is supplied for a child is not the same answer that is applied for an adult in the church. And it might be argued that one who has been appointed or elected to a leadership role needs a more complete explanation than a regular church member. However, there must never be different versions of the truth. The same truth may be explained in progressive steps of revelation. You might be more concise and therefore less complete with one individual than you might be with another. This disclosure must never move from falsehood to truth. There must never be one version for one subset of people and another version for a difference subset. For example, it is never useful to tell young people something about music to articulate support and then say something completely different to older folks who can’t stand the young people’s music. All that approach can achieve is discord. You could grind up all your energy and willpower by trying to keep the various forces at arm’s length from one another. As this is true with groups, it is also true with individuals. You can’t simply speak to one part of the overall agenda with one individual because you and that person are on the same page and then ignore other parts of the agenda where there is divergence. And then, you can’t go to the next individual and speak of a different part of the agenda where there is agreement while ignoring the perspective of the first person. If you do, everyone might think you agree with them but they won’t ever achieve agreement with each other and thus move in the direction of unity. You have to be a straight shooter to gain respect and move a group towards unity.
Telling the truth and answering all the questions in an open and transparent way makes an enormous difference in producing an environment in which the church can grow.
But we must move on. The last three parts of the TQ-PEN promise are straightforward.
Phone
P = Phone. If you live by the TQ-PEN promise you must commit to this concept. I will always answer my phone or return the call at the earliest possible time. If you leave me a phone message I will return your call. Period. Frankly, I am astounded at how few pastors will live by this part of the rule. But they will be quick to chirp about it if others don’t. It is my opinion that you must never screen your calls in the sense of deciding who you will speak to and who you will not speak to. Come on. Admit it. It drives you nuts when people won’t return your phone calls. If you want others to return your phone calls then you are obligated to return theirs. It matters not to me if it is some telemarketer who leaves their number. I always return those calls. And then almost always tell them I’m not interested. But they hear it from my voice. Not from my silence.
Yes this can get tedious. There are some phone calls I would rather avoid. The truth be known, there are some people I must relate to I would rather not speak to until they corner me. I refuse to let myself live that way. If you call me to complain, I will take the call. If I know that you want to rehash an issue we’ve gone over before, I will still return the telephone call. If you want me to respond to some invitation that I would rather not take, I will still give you my answer over the telephone if that’s the way you contact me in the first place.
Actually it’s not as hard as I make it out to be. I’ve found that dealing with the issue as fast as possible is far less draining then figuring out ways to avoid the issue. And it takes far less time to do it than it does to grovel with an apology of why you didn’t get around to doing it.
E-mail
E = E-mail. I will always answer your e-mails. No really. Test me on this. I get hundreds of e-mails every day. When I am away from my desk for a week as I am right now, I put a vacation message on my primary e-mail addresses and tell you when I will deal with incoming e-mail. Today is Tuesday. I intend to finish writing this book by Friday. I have a 12 hour drive home on Saturday. I will do some editing while my wife drives part of the way. I must preach in my church on Sunday. Monday I will get your e-mail. But it’s not like you are the only one. There will be 1,000 e-mails or so in my inbox. Most of those will be generic newsletter type e-mails from lists to which I have given permission to communicate with me. If you are one who has generated such a list with valuable information, it is not likely that I will give it my full attention on Monday. Most of the 1000 e-mails will simply get deleted. However, I will invest a couple of hours in thoughtfully going through all that e-mail and picking out the ones that have directly asked me for a response. They will get a thoughtful response. Whatever it takes.
Under normal circumstances when I receive an e-mail it gets a direct response when requested within 24 hours. If the e-mail is going to take less than 5-10 minutes, I will deal with it the moment I open it. If it is going to take a longer response than that I will supply a short answer explaining when the complete answer will be forthcoming. Letting things scroll off my screen because I procrastinate will not help anyone. There will not be more time later than there is today. So the emptier I can keep my e-mail inbox the better.
This brings to bear the whole question of time management. I highly recommend to you the book and the system created by David Allen called “Getting Things Done.” Buy that book. No I don’t sell it. But I do recommend you get it, learn the system and live by it. I am in the process of changing on this subject and Allen has helped me tremendously. One of the ways I am implementing his system is through using a private G-mail address and an add-on for the Firefox browser called the GTD add-on. I can always send an e-mail from my BlackBerry to my private G-mail account and then process to do items very efficiently. Get my CD on how to do this.
No
The final component of the TQ-PEN promise is N = No. If you ever give me a final “no” on a request I will respect it, drop it and move on. I will never hold it against you. Oh yes, it would be disingenuous of me to suggest that I won’t feel some disappointment, but I will not let that disappointment poison our relationship.
On the other hand, if I ever need to say “no” to you, you will hear from me directly. I will not leave you hanging. I will not supply a passive “no” when an active “yes” or “no” is what is expected. I believe that most people would rather be rejected than ignored. I know I would. Definitely, I would rather not be rejected, but I can handle that better than being ignored.
When taken as a bundle the five elements of the TQ-PEN promise provide a very practical way for me personally to focus my understanding of the Golden Rule. If you liked the way I am committed to treating you and wish that others would respond in a similar fashion, then I guess you are on the hook with me, aren’t you? The Golden Rule has never been rescinded. It’s our turn. You and I are it.
I sincerely hope that you now recognize the power of the TQ-PEN promise. If it seems to you that there’s too much work implied here, then I challenge you to come up with an alternative that is absolutely consistent with what Jesus expects of you. Whatever you do, you must develop a life style that calls out to people, “Follow me as I follow Christ!” He has the power and will transfer it through you in simple ways. Of course, we can start with the moral imperatives of Scripture as summarized in the 10 commandments. You will do well to staple the TQ-PEN promise to your moral sensibilities.
It is a tall order. But if you’re going to be like Jesus, then when people read His words your name needs to pop into their mind and they need to be saying, “That reminds me of old So-And-So. That’s just the way he/she lives.” It seems to me that the evaluation of who you are will be best established by people after you have moved on either to another location or to the next life. You must be sure that you leave a legacy behind you. The legacy you leave will never be in the bricks, the mortar, the messages, the programs or the positions you held. And it certainly won’t be in the money you leave behind. Your legacy will be measured by who you were — who you are now becoming. When others measure themselves by you then you are on to something. You want people to look to you and say I want to be like old So-And-So when I grow up because old So-And-So reminds me of Jesus. And I think if Jesus were here today He would be saying a hearty amen to the TQ-PEN promise.
I assert very firmly that the TQ-PEN promise ought to be nonnegotiable for every Christian, let alone every Christian leader. I submit to you that the primary reason for ill health in the life of the church can be traced back to leadership issues.
Christian leaders must lead as Christ indicated they should live. The teachings of Jesus as recorded in scripture are cryptic. They are more like a sermon outline than a sermon. I fear that the meaning of the teachings of Jesus are lost in the pharisaical approach of pretending to seek amplification while all the time actually seeking to reduce the teaching to the absurd. “But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’” That is the way Luke explains the follow up of a teacher of the law who wanted to diminish the impact of the simple word of the Lord, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” My amplified version of that self justifying question, “And who is my neighbor?” as I can imagine it coming from a pulpit is as follows. “While Jesus told us we are to love our neighbor as ourself, we must understand that not all neighbors are deserving of the same level of love and therefore we must exercise discernment on how far we go with any one individual. And so, we must carefully think through how much love we extend since our resources are very limited. We might well ask, ‘How do I select from the vast array of people who need help, the ones to whom I should express active love?’” Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. Wah. That seems reasonable doesn’t it? Now you stop that. You know what Jesus meant. You know that He knew it is possible to pour love down a black hole. Do it anyway. Why? Because Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Full stop.
The Golden Rule
That is just an illustration of how we attempt to take the batteries out of Jesus’ words. The TQ-PEN promise comes from another set of Jesus’ words. You know it by the name the Golden Rule. Here’s the way I learned it as a child. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Here’s the way Luke records it in Luke 6:31, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” The impact is exactly the same. But there is no impact at all if you don’t get the primary concept that the rule cannot work if you are expecting others to get it right first. You know how you like to be treated. You hate it when people disrespect you. You despise being ignored. You are quite capable of giving any number of illustrations of how people have mistreated you. In the words of an old Simon and Garfunkel tune, “I get slandered / I get libeled / I hear words I never read in the Bible.” We all do. That is of course the point in creating the rule in the first place. People don’t actually treat you the way you wish they would. This is not an old law based on tit for tat — an eye for an eye — a tooth for a tooth. This is an entirely different way of approaching life. The Golden Rule can only work for you if you work it. And it doesn’t mean you are going to get back what you deliver. It does mean that you must recognize that it is always your turn. You are it. Every time. If others don’t live by the Golden Rule that is not your concern. Yes, you will have to bear the pain associated with that fact, but it is still no reason for you not to do what you are told and live by the Rule.
TQ-PEN promise is based on five practical rollout issues that I am committed to living by. These are five things that I see as direct applications of the Golden Rule.
Truth
The first one is easy to say but when I take it literally and specifically it really challenges me. T = Truth. I will always tell you the truth. When Jimmy Carter became President of the United States, one of the promises he made to the American people was, “I will never lie to you.” That took politics to a much higher level than people expected. It is expected that politicians will tell lies. It is expected that they will promise a chicken in every pot when they know it is impossible to buy the pots let alone the chickens. This is the stuff politicians say. It is expected hyperbole. It is also a lie. Now, let me be quick to add that naiveté in political rhetoric often overstates what might actually be possible despite the best intentions of the politician. I have lots of room for people who in sincerity state intentions and then fail to deliver on those intentions. Well, that is, I have lots of room for them if they will subsequently own up to their failure when challenged.
In many ways church life resembles politics. There are always limited resources to meet the demands of an ever expanding wish list. However, it is never appropriate to promise someone something that is known to be undeliverable. Church leaders must not state that they will look into something if the person will agree first to what is on their agenda. That in itself isn’t so bad. The guild comes if in their heart of hearts they have no intention of looking into the other person’s concern at all. Or at least not with any level of intensity. I refuse to live like that and fail on the first point of the TQ-PEN promise.
But I still wish to ratchet the T part up to an even higher level. It is one thing to tell no lies. That is a good start. I believe that telling the truth involves deliberately avoiding leaving false impressions. If it is plain that the recipient of the communication believes that what you are saying will create better results than what you actually believe, then you are under an obligation to correct their expectations. For example, they might buy into your idea of a grand new church advertising scheme you wish to implement. They might be willing to vote for the expense because they see greater results than are reasonable. However, if you know that their expectations are entirely over rated then you have an obligation to tell them the truth. I do not believe that it is ever possible to build a healthy church based on chicanery. This does create a problem. People are so used to receiving advertising messages that overstate the value of a product that they have an automatic built in mechanism to discount the benefits and results promised. While the ad on TV promises that the particular product will get out all the stains, you just know in your heart of hearts that they have picked the stains the product will remove and have avoided the stains the product cannot touch. However, if you are an advertiser living by the T part of this TQ-PEN promise you would be quick to assert that the product will handle most stains. And you would avoid the overstatement.
You want people to tell you the truth as they know it. Therefore, you should never hide parts of the truth from others that would help them evaluate a particular concept.
I’m not suggesting that you become negatively oriented in your communication and dwell on all of the things that could go wrong. That list is unending. And besides, you wouldn’t want someone to treat you in such a way that they spent all their time telling you what could go wrong. You simply want to know that there are risks in a more general way.
This is proving to be a great burden to me in my ministry. The thing that I love the most is to help people start churches. And when I am realistic in my explanation of what some product or service that I offer can do for the individual who wants to start a church, they often turn away. They simply want more blast for the buck. They are looking for something with more power. Now, I have developed or adapted the most powerful things I know to apply to starting churches. If there is something I know to be more powerful, I will definitely recommend it. When I find more powerful concepts I either adapt the concept, without violating copyrights, or I setup a vending relationship with the owner of the idea. However, over the years I have watched people turn away and try some other idea that promises more success. And I watch people fail every time. In a sense, I could help them by over promising and then after the fact rationalizing the under production down to what I had originally truly expected. I simply refuse to do that because I live by the TQ-PEN promise. I make every effort to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
Questions
The second dimension of the TQ-PEN promise is Q = Questions. I will always supply the best and most complete answers that I can for your questions. I love it when people answer my questions thoughtfully. I expect you do too. When I answer questions completely it consumes a lot of time. And it is seldom to my economic advantage to invest the time. And yet I still am deeply committed to dispensing the time that God has provided, at an equal pace for all of us (but not duration), in such a way that I supply my very best for every person who asks for my time regardless of their position or station in life. If there’s nothing in it for me, I will still give the best answer I can to any question thoughtfully posed.
I can almost feel the squirming and hear the protests. “But what about my responsibility to manage my time?” “Won’t I be wasting time if I invest it in people with less influence?” “How will I maintain my sanity with all the questions coming my way?”
I don’t believe that I must personally craft an answer for every individualized question on every occasion. I further don’t believe that every question demands an immediate answer that could throw things off schedule.
As long as it is acceptable to the person asking the question, it is a great thing to delegate the answer, giving to someone who can supply the answer consistent with the answer I myself would give. That forces me to duplicate myself as best I can in others so that I will have people to turn to to help me respond.
I will often answer a question that is asked with a specific incident in mind by supplying an answer that can be applied on a broader spectrum of incidents. I do this by the use of various media such as blogs and recordings of various kinds. There are many questions I have fielded that are the genesis of this very book.
By answering questions thoughtfully and completely, I think it keeps my feet in touch with the ground.
Overall the TQ-PEN promise is extremely powerful. I believe that these first two components are foundational and essential for anyone who wishes to provide church leadership. I do not believe it is ever an appropriate option to choose to avoid these two principles. Everyone should get the truth. Everyone should get a timely answer. Every time.
The only way a church can become healthier is if the individuals within the church behave healthier. If the leaders in the church are not respecters of persons but treat everyone with equal authenticity, it provides a basis for health and growth.
There is always a layering of the depth of information that needs to be disclosed. Clearly, the answer that is supplied for a child is not the same answer that is applied for an adult in the church. And it might be argued that one who has been appointed or elected to a leadership role needs a more complete explanation than a regular church member. However, there must never be different versions of the truth. The same truth may be explained in progressive steps of revelation. You might be more concise and therefore less complete with one individual than you might be with another. This disclosure must never move from falsehood to truth. There must never be one version for one subset of people and another version for a difference subset. For example, it is never useful to tell young people something about music to articulate support and then say something completely different to older folks who can’t stand the young people’s music. All that approach can achieve is discord. You could grind up all your energy and willpower by trying to keep the various forces at arm’s length from one another. As this is true with groups, it is also true with individuals. You can’t simply speak to one part of the overall agenda with one individual because you and that person are on the same page and then ignore other parts of the agenda where there is divergence. And then, you can’t go to the next individual and speak of a different part of the agenda where there is agreement while ignoring the perspective of the first person. If you do, everyone might think you agree with them but they won’t ever achieve agreement with each other and thus move in the direction of unity. You have to be a straight shooter to gain respect and move a group towards unity.
Telling the truth and answering all the questions in an open and transparent way makes an enormous difference in producing an environment in which the church can grow.
But we must move on. The last three parts of the TQ-PEN promise are straightforward.
Phone
P = Phone. If you live by the TQ-PEN promise you must commit to this concept. I will always answer my phone or return the call at the earliest possible time. If you leave me a phone message I will return your call. Period. Frankly, I am astounded at how few pastors will live by this part of the rule. But they will be quick to chirp about it if others don’t. It is my opinion that you must never screen your calls in the sense of deciding who you will speak to and who you will not speak to. Come on. Admit it. It drives you nuts when people won’t return your phone calls. If you want others to return your phone calls then you are obligated to return theirs. It matters not to me if it is some telemarketer who leaves their number. I always return those calls. And then almost always tell them I’m not interested. But they hear it from my voice. Not from my silence.
Yes this can get tedious. There are some phone calls I would rather avoid. The truth be known, there are some people I must relate to I would rather not speak to until they corner me. I refuse to let myself live that way. If you call me to complain, I will take the call. If I know that you want to rehash an issue we’ve gone over before, I will still return the telephone call. If you want me to respond to some invitation that I would rather not take, I will still give you my answer over the telephone if that’s the way you contact me in the first place.
Actually it’s not as hard as I make it out to be. I’ve found that dealing with the issue as fast as possible is far less draining then figuring out ways to avoid the issue. And it takes far less time to do it than it does to grovel with an apology of why you didn’t get around to doing it.
E = E-mail. I will always answer your e-mails. No really. Test me on this. I get hundreds of e-mails every day. When I am away from my desk for a week as I am right now, I put a vacation message on my primary e-mail addresses and tell you when I will deal with incoming e-mail. Today is Tuesday. I intend to finish writing this book by Friday. I have a 12 hour drive home on Saturday. I will do some editing while my wife drives part of the way. I must preach in my church on Sunday. Monday I will get your e-mail. But it’s not like you are the only one. There will be 1,000 e-mails or so in my inbox. Most of those will be generic newsletter type e-mails from lists to which I have given permission to communicate with me. If you are one who has generated such a list with valuable information, it is not likely that I will give it my full attention on Monday. Most of the 1000 e-mails will simply get deleted. However, I will invest a couple of hours in thoughtfully going through all that e-mail and picking out the ones that have directly asked me for a response. They will get a thoughtful response. Whatever it takes.
Under normal circumstances when I receive an e-mail it gets a direct response when requested within 24 hours. If the e-mail is going to take less than 5-10 minutes, I will deal with it the moment I open it. If it is going to take a longer response than that I will supply a short answer explaining when the complete answer will be forthcoming. Letting things scroll off my screen because I procrastinate will not help anyone. There will not be more time later than there is today. So the emptier I can keep my e-mail inbox the better.
This brings to bear the whole question of time management. I highly recommend to you the book and the system created by David Allen called “Getting Things Done.” Buy that book. No I don’t sell it. But I do recommend you get it, learn the system and live by it. I am in the process of changing on this subject and Allen has helped me tremendously. One of the ways I am implementing his system is through using a private G-mail address and an add-on for the Firefox browser called the GTD add-on. I can always send an e-mail from my BlackBerry to my private G-mail account and then process to do items very efficiently. Get my CD on how to do this.
No
The final component of the TQ-PEN promise is N = No. If you ever give me a final “no” on a request I will respect it, drop it and move on. I will never hold it against you. Oh yes, it would be disingenuous of me to suggest that I won’t feel some disappointment, but I will not let that disappointment poison our relationship.
On the other hand, if I ever need to say “no” to you, you will hear from me directly. I will not leave you hanging. I will not supply a passive “no” when an active “yes” or “no” is what is expected. I believe that most people would rather be rejected than ignored. I know I would. Definitely, I would rather not be rejected, but I can handle that better than being ignored.
When taken as a bundle the five elements of the TQ-PEN promise provide a very practical way for me personally to focus my understanding of the Golden Rule. If you liked the way I am committed to treating you and wish that others would respond in a similar fashion, then I guess you are on the hook with me, aren’t you? The Golden Rule has never been rescinded. It’s our turn. You and I are it.
I sincerely hope that you now recognize the power of the TQ-PEN promise. If it seems to you that there’s too much work implied here, then I challenge you to come up with an alternative that is absolutely consistent with what Jesus expects of you. Whatever you do, you must develop a life style that calls out to people, “Follow me as I follow Christ!” He has the power and will transfer it through you in simple ways. Of course, we can start with the moral imperatives of Scripture as summarized in the 10 commandments. You will do well to staple the TQ-PEN promise to your moral sensibilities.
It is a tall order. But if you’re going to be like Jesus, then when people read His words your name needs to pop into their mind and they need to be saying, “That reminds me of old So-And-So. That’s just the way he/she lives.” It seems to me that the evaluation of who you are will be best established by people after you have moved on either to another location or to the next life. You must be sure that you leave a legacy behind you. The legacy you leave will never be in the bricks, the mortar, the messages, the programs or the positions you held. And it certainly won’t be in the money you leave behind. Your legacy will be measured by who you were — who you are now becoming. When others measure themselves by you then you are on to something. You want people to look to you and say I want to be like old So-And-So when I grow up because old So-And-So reminds me of Jesus. And I think if Jesus were here today He would be saying a hearty amen to the TQ-PEN promise.
3 Harness... The Power Of Bouncing Words
Two of the 10 commandments give attention to the power of words. One of them speaks of the words we use in connection with God. The other refers to the words we use with people.
It seems that what ends up coming out of our mouths as words is more powerful than we could ever imagine. Only humans have the power of speech. We need to pay close attention to that power. Our Creator has endowed us with the incredible mechanism of speech.
Words are extremely important things. And the proliferation of words is astounding. As you are reading these words there are in fact more words flying around you than you could ever imagine. Even the radio waves in the air contain words. If you take a moment to look at your environment you might see words on your walls. There may be words on your coffee cup, table or your desk. There might be words on signs outside your window. Words. Words. And more words.
The third power starter in our kit of essentials is the power of bouncing words. I’m going to unpack the word “bouncing” later in this chapter but first we must pay attention to words in general.
You must really watch your words. It is somewhat jarring to listen to the words people will use out of the sides of their mouths out of earshot of unsuspecting innocents. And sometimes those words are prefaced with a phrase such as, “To be honest with you…” Sometimes the frank words that are about to be uttered should be left unsaid. Sometimes to intensify the opinion expressed profanity is injected.
Learn to develop the ability to keep your mouth shut when it should stay shut. If there is garbage inside that is screaming to be vomited out, just hold it in. You will be better for it. Every one of us must learn to harness the power of words.
James makes a connection between those who presume to be teachers in the life of the church and the words they utter. There is a double standard here. A legitimate double standard. James clearly states in James three :1 that we who teach will be judged more strictly. And the nature of the judgment is quickly connected in the next sentence with what you say as a teacher — whether or not class is in or out. James is quick to point out that the arena of our words is a major place in which we fail.
Tongue Control
Therefore, to get power truly started in your life you have got to control your flapping tongue. And you had better get started today. If you don’t plan your words very carefully they are going to mess with your impact. I am not referring to the words you give in a public speech. Let’s start with the words you use with the people who are most familiar to you. Talk about the right things in the right way. Plan your speech and your vocabulary. Listen to yourself. Review what you have said. Become self-conscious about your words. Think before you speak.
You could simply start by expanding your vocabulary. Learn to not end your sentences with inane phrases such as, “… and stuff.” There are many words in the English language that end up with the equivalent meaning of a guttural grunt. For example, the word “stuff” is a generic noun that could mean almost anything. Make it your lifelong pursuit to enhance your vocabulary so that you can speak with precision. There is tremendous power in the precision of your words.
Bouncing Words
Now let’s move on to the power of bouncing words. Once a word leaves your mouth in the presence of other people that has potential that you probably never realize. You speak the word. The sound waves die. You forget the word. But the recipient of that word may find it bouncing around in their brain like a careening super ball. And you can never know which sentences will bounce for a very long time. So choose those bouncing words very very carefully.
How many people do you know whose lives have been poisoned by an ill advised parent saying, “You will never amount to anything”? Those words only have to be uttered once. If they are received at a point of vulnerability, they may bounce around in that person’s head as long as they reside on planet earth. Wow. That powerful.
Sometimes people have a perception of nagging that never actually occurred in real time. The mother says, “Clean up your room!” The child has those words bouncing around inside as procrastination rules. The mother might have only said the words once. But when mother pokes her nose through the door, the child snaps, “Mom, quit nagging me about cleaning my room!”
You know how true that is. And it isn’t simply a mother’s words that continue to bounce in one’s mind. The stronger the bond between people the higher the words bounce. Mother. Spouse. Sibling. But there are other bonds. Teacher. Coach. Mentor. And then there are the bouncing words supplied in the church. Pastor. Deacon. Sunday School Teacher.
As you aspire to enhance your role as a church leader you must recognize your words are bouncing. As you long for a healthier church you must exhibit by example effective bouncing words and teach others to do the same.
This means you are going to have to work on your words. In sales they talk about creating an elevator pitch. This is a three 0 second statement you can make in an elevator if somebody asks you, “What do you do?” If you were in sales you would know that such a short statement could open a door to a new client.
This might come as a shock to you. You are in sales. You represent the most important product on the planet. Your CEO is the King of Kings. If you have a negative view of salesmanship then those statements will come across to you like acid in your face. Lighten up a bit. OK, let me say it another way. You are His Ambassador. Never forget it. As an ambassador you need to make sure that your bouncing words are carefully crafted. This starts with the innocuous. How do you respond when someone says, “How are you today?” Careful. Those words have bounce too.
I recommend that you work on a library of sentences that you use over and over again to express who you are and where you are going. This creates power.
Not all bouncing words continue to careen in the brain unabated. Change the analogy a little for the moment. Think of a sentence as a ball that is dropped from, say, chest height. Perhaps the first bounce will come up to the waist, and then the second to the thigh, the third to the knee, the fourth to the calf and the fifth to the ankle. Then the ball just rolls away. Most sentences are not of such a high impact that they keep bouncing to chest height.
Make every effort to manage the sentences you hope will bounce with perpetual motion. More precisely, manage the expression of concepts that you hope will be a retained long-term and without effort. You can do this using the mechanism of repetition. Grab that ball when it bounces up to the waist and drag it back to chest height and drop it again. Keep doing this systematically with the things that matter most. Imagine the crowd around you with a cloned ball in their hand. Imagine them grabbing that ball and re energizing it over and over. If you do this with words and phrases over time you have the potential of normalizing the perpetual bounce in the ball.
Great visionary leaders have used this technique in the past and today. How many times did choirs sing the old hymn, “Just As I Am” at Billy Graham meetings? Perhaps someone has calculated that piece of trivia. How many times did Bob Schuler talk about turning “Scars Into Stars”? Repetition of bouncing words is an incredible power starter.
The Same Old
There are some things to manage in connection with contrived bouncing words. You never want to seek to re energize your bouncing words so often that people are irritated by them. Keep close tabs on the number of rolling eyes compared to the number of nodding heads. And on the other hand, don’t become so narcissistic that you believe people are bored hearing those words just because they become boring to you. After all, don’t you suspect Cliff Barrows got a little tired of directing those choirs at Billy Graham meetings singing the same old music? The third thing I want to point out is that as you re energize your bouncing words you must do so with the same intensity and not with a wry smile as if to suggest you know you might be boring people. For an illustration here think in terms of Ed McMahon saying, “Here’s Johnny!” That piece of Americana is history but my guess is it still bounces in your brain!
Your bouncing words don’t have to be all that creative to be memorable. Just be sure that they are full of meaning. If you are comfortable using someone else’s bouncing words in making them your own, go right ahead.
Managing words — particularly bouncing words is one of the most significant power starters you can use. I strongly recommend that you think through the things that you say most commonly and evaluate them in the light of the amount of bounce they contain. Ask some people who know you well to make a list of the phrases and sentences they hear you repeating over and over. And take a hard look at the impact of those words.
In terms of growing a healthy church, you want to be sure that the things which become traditions and expectations are those which take you to where you truly want to be. Make sure that words that once had bounce and meaning but that have become hollow and insincere are re framed in some way. Perhaps you need to drop those words in favor of a new set. Perhaps you need to inject those old words with new meaning. One way to do this is to have people explain with heartfelt expression why these words still hold meaning for today.
Now we have you started with some of the essentials to create power in any local church. You cannot control whether people respond to your initiatives but you can control your initiatives. You can have power within yourself. You can have the confidence and the calmness to demonstrate that you are supplying leadership because you harness the power of bouncing words.
It seems that what ends up coming out of our mouths as words is more powerful than we could ever imagine. Only humans have the power of speech. We need to pay close attention to that power. Our Creator has endowed us with the incredible mechanism of speech.
Words are extremely important things. And the proliferation of words is astounding. As you are reading these words there are in fact more words flying around you than you could ever imagine. Even the radio waves in the air contain words. If you take a moment to look at your environment you might see words on your walls. There may be words on your coffee cup, table or your desk. There might be words on signs outside your window. Words. Words. And more words.
The third power starter in our kit of essentials is the power of bouncing words. I’m going to unpack the word “bouncing” later in this chapter but first we must pay attention to words in general.
You must really watch your words. It is somewhat jarring to listen to the words people will use out of the sides of their mouths out of earshot of unsuspecting innocents. And sometimes those words are prefaced with a phrase such as, “To be honest with you…” Sometimes the frank words that are about to be uttered should be left unsaid. Sometimes to intensify the opinion expressed profanity is injected.
Learn to develop the ability to keep your mouth shut when it should stay shut. If there is garbage inside that is screaming to be vomited out, just hold it in. You will be better for it. Every one of us must learn to harness the power of words.
James makes a connection between those who presume to be teachers in the life of the church and the words they utter. There is a double standard here. A legitimate double standard. James clearly states in James three :1 that we who teach will be judged more strictly. And the nature of the judgment is quickly connected in the next sentence with what you say as a teacher — whether or not class is in or out. James is quick to point out that the arena of our words is a major place in which we fail.
Tongue Control
Therefore, to get power truly started in your life you have got to control your flapping tongue. And you had better get started today. If you don’t plan your words very carefully they are going to mess with your impact. I am not referring to the words you give in a public speech. Let’s start with the words you use with the people who are most familiar to you. Talk about the right things in the right way. Plan your speech and your vocabulary. Listen to yourself. Review what you have said. Become self-conscious about your words. Think before you speak.
You could simply start by expanding your vocabulary. Learn to not end your sentences with inane phrases such as, “… and stuff.” There are many words in the English language that end up with the equivalent meaning of a guttural grunt. For example, the word “stuff” is a generic noun that could mean almost anything. Make it your lifelong pursuit to enhance your vocabulary so that you can speak with precision. There is tremendous power in the precision of your words.
Bouncing Words
Now let’s move on to the power of bouncing words. Once a word leaves your mouth in the presence of other people that has potential that you probably never realize. You speak the word. The sound waves die. You forget the word. But the recipient of that word may find it bouncing around in their brain like a careening super ball. And you can never know which sentences will bounce for a very long time. So choose those bouncing words very very carefully.
How many people do you know whose lives have been poisoned by an ill advised parent saying, “You will never amount to anything”? Those words only have to be uttered once. If they are received at a point of vulnerability, they may bounce around in that person’s head as long as they reside on planet earth. Wow. That powerful.
Sometimes people have a perception of nagging that never actually occurred in real time. The mother says, “Clean up your room!” The child has those words bouncing around inside as procrastination rules. The mother might have only said the words once. But when mother pokes her nose through the door, the child snaps, “Mom, quit nagging me about cleaning my room!”
You know how true that is. And it isn’t simply a mother’s words that continue to bounce in one’s mind. The stronger the bond between people the higher the words bounce. Mother. Spouse. Sibling. But there are other bonds. Teacher. Coach. Mentor. And then there are the bouncing words supplied in the church. Pastor. Deacon. Sunday School Teacher.
As you aspire to enhance your role as a church leader you must recognize your words are bouncing. As you long for a healthier church you must exhibit by example effective bouncing words and teach others to do the same.
This means you are going to have to work on your words. In sales they talk about creating an elevator pitch. This is a three 0 second statement you can make in an elevator if somebody asks you, “What do you do?” If you were in sales you would know that such a short statement could open a door to a new client.
This might come as a shock to you. You are in sales. You represent the most important product on the planet. Your CEO is the King of Kings. If you have a negative view of salesmanship then those statements will come across to you like acid in your face. Lighten up a bit. OK, let me say it another way. You are His Ambassador. Never forget it. As an ambassador you need to make sure that your bouncing words are carefully crafted. This starts with the innocuous. How do you respond when someone says, “How are you today?” Careful. Those words have bounce too.
I recommend that you work on a library of sentences that you use over and over again to express who you are and where you are going. This creates power.
Not all bouncing words continue to careen in the brain unabated. Change the analogy a little for the moment. Think of a sentence as a ball that is dropped from, say, chest height. Perhaps the first bounce will come up to the waist, and then the second to the thigh, the third to the knee, the fourth to the calf and the fifth to the ankle. Then the ball just rolls away. Most sentences are not of such a high impact that they keep bouncing to chest height.
Make every effort to manage the sentences you hope will bounce with perpetual motion. More precisely, manage the expression of concepts that you hope will be a retained long-term and without effort. You can do this using the mechanism of repetition. Grab that ball when it bounces up to the waist and drag it back to chest height and drop it again. Keep doing this systematically with the things that matter most. Imagine the crowd around you with a cloned ball in their hand. Imagine them grabbing that ball and re energizing it over and over. If you do this with words and phrases over time you have the potential of normalizing the perpetual bounce in the ball.
Great visionary leaders have used this technique in the past and today. How many times did choirs sing the old hymn, “Just As I Am” at Billy Graham meetings? Perhaps someone has calculated that piece of trivia. How many times did Bob Schuler talk about turning “Scars Into Stars”? Repetition of bouncing words is an incredible power starter.
The Same Old
There are some things to manage in connection with contrived bouncing words. You never want to seek to re energize your bouncing words so often that people are irritated by them. Keep close tabs on the number of rolling eyes compared to the number of nodding heads. And on the other hand, don’t become so narcissistic that you believe people are bored hearing those words just because they become boring to you. After all, don’t you suspect Cliff Barrows got a little tired of directing those choirs at Billy Graham meetings singing the same old music? The third thing I want to point out is that as you re energize your bouncing words you must do so with the same intensity and not with a wry smile as if to suggest you know you might be boring people. For an illustration here think in terms of Ed McMahon saying, “Here’s Johnny!” That piece of Americana is history but my guess is it still bounces in your brain!
Your bouncing words don’t have to be all that creative to be memorable. Just be sure that they are full of meaning. If you are comfortable using someone else’s bouncing words in making them your own, go right ahead.
Managing words — particularly bouncing words is one of the most significant power starters you can use. I strongly recommend that you think through the things that you say most commonly and evaluate them in the light of the amount of bounce they contain. Ask some people who know you well to make a list of the phrases and sentences they hear you repeating over and over. And take a hard look at the impact of those words.
In terms of growing a healthy church, you want to be sure that the things which become traditions and expectations are those which take you to where you truly want to be. Make sure that words that once had bounce and meaning but that have become hollow and insincere are re framed in some way. Perhaps you need to drop those words in favor of a new set. Perhaps you need to inject those old words with new meaning. One way to do this is to have people explain with heartfelt expression why these words still hold meaning for today.
Now we have you started with some of the essentials to create power in any local church. You cannot control whether people respond to your initiatives but you can control your initiatives. You can have power within yourself. You can have the confidence and the calmness to demonstrate that you are supplying leadership because you harness the power of bouncing words.
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